What NOT to Say to A Woman Trying to Conceive

Yes, I have heard 'em all in my time. Here is a list of things NOT to say to woman trying to conceive:

1. Just relax! You're trying too hard! It will happen!

    Trust me, when you are trying to have a baby, relaxing is the hardest thing to do! This goes with the same people who tell you to go on vacation. As long as you plan that vacation around the two days that you are fertile, which is stressful, which causes you to surprise! do anything but relax. Ah, the vicious cycle.


2. Maybe you're doing it wrong.

    I know I went to Catholic school, and no one talked about sex, but I kinda think I'm doing it somewhat right. I mean, you get pregnant by holding hands, right?


3. It's God's plan....everything happens for a reason.

    I have a hard time with this one. You mean, God thinks I'll be a bad mommy? I need to sit down and have a conversation with this God-guy.


4. There are worse things that could happen....

     Of course, right not I can't think of much that surpass the emotional and physical pain I feel every month....at least things I have no control over. Gimmie a few seconds on this one.....


5. At least you're having fun trying!

    Yes, every month that I pee on a stick and check my mucus for viscosity, I think, "Woo-hoo! I get to do the baby dance again!!" 50% of women experience a loss in sexual activity during infertility. Of course, I think my husband might be having fun with this one....


6. My kids drive me crazy, you can have them!

     Sure, rub my lack of fertility in my face. And yes, if you don't want or can't provide for your children, I will take them. Happily.


7. Why don't you just adopt?

    Guess what? It's really not that easy. It is long, expensive, and emotionally draining. I would be happy to adopt, can someone loan me $22,000? Same with people who say, "just do IVF!" Dude, I'm a teacher. I'm poor.


8. My husband just looks at me and I get pregnant!

    Da-da-da-da! It's super-fertile woman! You know, that could be a serious problem...get that looked at. And while we're at it, let's have a talk about how NOT to make every conversation about you!

So what do you say to a women trying to conceive?

Oh, honey. I love you. You will be such an amazing mommy. What can I do for you?